With apologies to Vandy, it’s finally time. (Side note: If the worst team in the league plays a pre-conference game outside the continental 48 states, does it actually count?)

The rest of the SEC gets going this week, and at the bold prediction department we’ve been waiting. Whether it’s calling for obscene amounts of yardage or points, weird defensive moments or surprisingly close games, it’s time for us to do what we do and get just a little loco.

Here’s a bold prediction for each SEC game in Week 1:

Tennessee: 200 for Jabari Small

Ball State isn’t the worst team in the world but they’ll be overmatched by UT. And while Hendon Hooker gets the headlines, for UT to be next-level effective the Vols have to get it done on the ground. Which is where Jabari Small comes in. Not only did he rack up 283 rushing yards in UT’s final two games of 2021, he averaged 6.9 yards per carry in each game. UT won 3 games last year by more than the 35 points they’re favored by in this one — and they averaged just over 300 rushing yards in those wins. Look for Small to hit 200 yards in an easy win.

Missouri: A better defensive performance than any from last year

It might be setting the bar a little low, but a Missouri defense without Steve Wilks can’t help but be better. Blake Baker is the new defensive coordinator and in Game 1 he’ll top anything that the Tigers did last year. The lows for 2021 were 23 points and 250 yards allowed. Missouri holds Louisiana Tech to 14 points and 240 yards in an easy win of the 38-14 variety.

Texas A&M: A quartet of TDs for Achane

Devon Achane is a guy who has a chance to go from slightly under the radar to one of the SEC’s top rushers. Five times in his 2 years in College Station, Achane has reached the end zone twice in a game on the ground. Against Sam Houston State, he’ll not only best that record, he’ll get 4 scores on the ground. The Aggies like to emphasize the run against bad teams, and Achane will get his scores in before halftime in a 50-point win.

Georgia: The defense outscores Bo Nix

If Oregon does trot Bo Nix out to face Georgia, it’s not exactly surprising to expect him to have a very, very bad day. In 128 career passes against the Bulldogs, Nix has 1 touchdown and 2 interceptions. Against a Georgia defense looking to make a statement, the Bulldogs’ defense will actually put up more TDs than Nix will. Oregon can probably hang around in this game for a half, but a pick-6 in the third quarter is the backbreaker in a 20-point Georgia win.

Arkansas: KJ throws for 300

KJ Jefferson gets forgotten in the SEC quarterback hype parade, but he had a rock-solid 2021 season and will start off 2022 the same way. Cincinnati lost the majority of its returning defense, including its 3 best guys in the secondary. This game will stay competitive for a half, but Arkansas will pull away late, just because the Cincinnati defense will have no answer for a 300-yard passing day by Jefferson.

Ole Miss: Rebels have minor hiccups in Game 1

Ole Miss was a dangerous team a year ago, and there’s no reason to think it won’t be this season. That said, the master of plug-and-play could have a doozy Week 1. New Troy coach Jon Sumrall inherits a very experienced roster. He’ll return Troy to the kind of program it was in 2017 and ’18 — the kind that won at LSU and Nebraska in those years. Now, not saying the Rebels lose. Just saying this one is competitive into the fourth quarter, where a Zach Evans-heavy drive finishes it off as a 34-20 Rebels victory. On the bright side, maybe Ole Miss’ Week 2 depth chart won’t be quite as heavy on the “OR” as the Week 1 variety.

Kentucky: Wildcats also start slow

Kentucky is hoping for a huge season. But a couple of ingredients spell a slow Week 1. First, Mark Stoops’ teams tend to start slow. His tenure at UK is littered with 24-20 and 27-16-type wins in non-conference early season games. And Miami of Ohio isn’t exactly chopped liver. A bowl team from last year, the RedHawks return almost their entire offense and defensive front 7. With Chris Rodriguez and apparently a few other Wildcats out for Week 1, pencil in UK for a 28-17 kind of victory that doesn’t cover the point spread but leaves plenty of correctable moments for Week 2 against Florida.

Florida: Not yet for Napier

Yes, nobody believes in West Coast football. Yes, Billy Napier can’t help but be an upgrade at UF. But the thing obscuring the vision of most fans is that if you took the jerseys off the two rosters, people would probably assume the two were swapped. It’s Utah that returns the QB with Rose Bowl experience, the 1,000-yard rusher and its top receiver from a year ago. It’s Florida that’s trying out a collection of untried and newly arrived players at skill positions. This is an awful matchup for a new coach who inherits a thin and relatively untried roster. Florida will have better days — and some of them will be in 2022. But give me Utah by two scores in this one.

Auburn: Tank and Hunter go for 100 each

Auburn should have a massive mismatch against Mercer and to keep the heat off T.J. Finley, look for the Tigers to run early and often — like last year, when they opened with 316 and 364 rushing yards in the first 2 weeks. Tank Bigsby and Jarquez Hunter will each rush for 100 yards and spend most of the second half cheering on freshmen. Auburn rolls by 50 and wishes it would all be this easy.

Vanderbilt: Commodores tap the brakes, hold it under 50

After a week of reading how great the Vandy offense is, don’t be surprised if Clark Lea takes a little air out of the balloon. Mike Wright demonstrated last week that he’s a legitimate dual-threat QB, so it figures that Lea doesn’t want him out there taking a ton of shots from Elon. Vandy will roll again, but this one will have more of a ground-and-pound kind of feel, with Vandy winning 42-7 and Wright spending the second half wearing a baseball cap and applauding his backups.

Alabama: Special teams outscores Utah State

One thing about Bama and non-competitive games: there are plenty of them. In years past, I’ve loved the “Bama defense outscores the other team” call. It happens not that infrequently, so I’m digging a little deeper this year. Let’s say Bama’s special teams outscores Utah State in a 50-point win. That should dial up the level of difficulty a degree.

Mississippi State: 500 for Rogers

A year ago, this game was very competitive in Memphis. But the competitiveness lay in some Bulldog sloppiness –State outgained Memphis 468-246 but snuck out a 31-29 win. In Starkville, the part that makes sense to see again is another day like last year’s 50 for 67 for 419 yards passing, but let’s upgrade it to 500 yards. Memphis has enough offensive firepower to keep this game competitive, which will only up the stats. Give us State 42-24 with another huge day for Will Rogers in the air.

South Carolina: The Rattler Era begins

South Carolina trails at halftime. Look, this Georgia State team is no joke. Ask Tennessee, which lost to the Panthers in 2019, or Auburn, which nearly lost to them last year. But from adversity comes the crowning of Spencer Rattler, who will lead Carolina back in the second half with a trio of touchdowns to claim a 35-27 win. It’s not the game that Gamecock fans want, but watching Rattler settle into the job in a dramatic way should ease the blues of an uneven first half just fine.

LSU: Rolls

Every week tends to have the (projected) close game that’s not a close game. Florida State is a 3-point dog at LSU. Mike Norvell, who’s just 9-13 at FSU, leads a program that hasn’t been (even in the broadest sense of the word) relevant since 2016 into the Superdome at night on national television and I’m supposed to believe that he has a chance? Remember that Florida State’s first road game a year ago was … a 21-point loss at Wake Forest, in which it was a 4 1/2-point underdog. The full 2022 picture for the Tigers is uncertain, but they look like a 35-17 winner in Week 1.