This just in: The SEC stinks.

It’s the only thing the rest of the country can agree on.

There’s Alabama, but let’s face it, any B1G fan worth his scarlet and gray scarf knows good fortune simply smiled on the Tide in 2009, 2011, 2012 and 2015. Pure luck, all of it.

Any ACC fan with a paw print tattoo on his backside can tell you Alabama shouldn’t even have been in the game with Clemson in the 2015 championship. Remember those blown calls in the fourth quarter? It doesn’t matter. They happened. How else could you possibly explain Clemson blowing an insurmountable 24-21 lead? There is no other way.

Any Big 12 fan with a “Stoops For President” bumper sticker can tell you the SEC wants no part of the mighty Southwest football. Do you not recall what Oklahoma did to Alabama in the January 2014 Sugar Bowl? Trevor Knight just threw for another touchdown on the most vaunted defense in America. Imagine what he would have done to the rest of the league.

So, yeah, the SEC stinks. You know what, so does your league.

There are five Power 5 conferences and only four Playoff spots. Somebody’s staying home. Here’s one reason it’s going to be one of your precious little programs.

ACC

Yes, Jimbo, we heard you. Two champions (almost three) in the past four years. Two Heisman Trophy winners (almost three) in that same span.

The ACC is so strong that the No. 2 overall pick in the NFL Draft couldn’t even get on the field for most of his first three years! In Chapel Hill!

But here’s the rub: For such big talk about being the unquestioned best conference in America, the ACC had just two teams in the Coaches preseason top 15.

Both programs could be in serious trouble after the second Saturday of the season.

Florida State opens against Alabama. Clemson hosts Auburn in Week 2. Dalvin and Deshaun are long gone.

An SEC sweep would take a sledgehammer to the penthouse suite they’re trying to build and call into question exactly how strong the league is this year, when it produces a 12-1 conference champion.

That’s OK. You’ll always have 2016. And that cool new playground slide.

https://twitter.com/ClemsonFB/status/808846505612349440

Big Ten

Admittedly and realistically, kicking the B1G out of the Playoff is the toughest sell. It’s almost impossible to envision a Playoff without the Big Ten, regardless of whether its team deserves to be there. As long as Ohio State is bowl eligible, the Buckeyes will be in the Playoff discussion. Not that we expect them to go 8-4, but listening to their ESPN Booster Club explain away those losses would be must-see TV.

The league protects its own better than anybody. It plays nine conference games, barely allowing another league the opportunity to challenge its message. And even when a very average team, say, Virginia Tech, goes into Columbus and whips a No. 8 team, say, Ohio State, it doesn’t seem to matter much.

The fear is, 2017 will produce more of the same. Michigan’s only difficult non-conference game is its opener against Florida. Ohio State hosts Oklahoma in Week 2. Penn State hosts mid-level Pitt. Wisconsin’s non-conference slate is weaker than that.

Ohio State, as proven, could lose at home to OU and still contend. If the Buckeyes win, the countdown to the Big House and Selection Day begins.

There’s no doubt the B1G’s scheduling process works. It’s rigged to give us a big end-of-season showdown between two titans who might be undefeated.

But maybe, just maybe after watching the Big Ten suffer back-to-back shutouts in the Playoff, committee members might begin to question the authenticity of the league’s prowess as the big boys plow through the rest of the conference?

One can hope.

Big 12

This entire exercise is tongue-in-cheek, but there’s nothing funny about the Big 12’s predicament.

They’ve been left out of two of the three Playoffs — and were blown out in their lone semifinal appearance in 2015. Clearly they’re at the bottom of the Power 5 pecking order.

Its 2017 Playoff hopes rest on Oklahoma knocking off Ohio State in Columbus in Week 2.

And even that might not be enough.

Oklahoma State’s non-conference schedule is as weak as any B1G team. As such, the Cowboys could go undefeated and not enjoy a peaceful night’s sleep before the Playoff selections are announced.

Best-case for the Big 12: Oklahoma upsets Ohio State, Oklahoma State takes care of business against Pitt and Texas stuns Southern Cal in L.A. in Week 3.

Anything short of that and the Big 12 will be fighting the same perceptions that kept it out in 2014 and 2016.

Pac-12

Yet another league that plays nine conference games. You begin to feel the committee’s pain, when there are so few meaningful games between the Power 5 leagues to help you determine which league is the weakest. (Lucky for you, I solved that problem last week.)

Credit Washington for not rolling over against Alabama in last year’s semifinal, but when Rutgers is the only non-conference Power 5 team you play in 2017, don’t be surprised when analysts scoff at an 11-1 regular season that doesn’t include Southern Cal, either.

Southern Cal features a Heisman candidate in Sam Darnold and a better schedule, with non-con dates with Texas and Notre Dame. Those two games will shape the outside opinion of how strong the Pac-12 is.

Peruse the rest of the Pac-12 schedules and you might wonder whether any airlines fly East of the Rockies.

Wouldn’t it be a shame if its collectively weak schedule stops the Pac-12 from making the short commuter flight or bus ride to the Rose Bowl semifinal? Nah. They’d deserve it.

SEC

Do we really need to do this? You heard Jimbo and Urban and Jim and Dabo.

The SEC stinks.

Fortunately, they’ll be there on Jan. 1 to remind you that your league stinks worse.