Imagine a league with 14 Nick Sabans. Well, maybe that’s not the best plan. Imagine if Nick Saban coached your team. What would he fix first? Janky offense? Fixed. Turning the ball over? Having a long losing streak? Fixed. Nothing is too much for Nick Saban. So here’s one thing St. Nick would fix with each SEC team that isn’t Alabama — if he were its coach.

EAST

Florida

Junk that offense — 21.3 points and 336 yards per game. Those are pretty good totals — for halftime. Saban is thought of as a defensive coach, and rightly so. But he won’t endure a stagnant offense. The worst Alabama numbers of this decade are 34.8 points and 427 yards per game. Florida hasn’t topped 30.3 points or 368 yards per game during the same time frame.

Georgia

Hire their Saban disciple sooner. If Saban’s coaching tree has a flaw, it’s that he lacks that great former assistant who will succeed his legacy. Sure, Jimbo Fisher won a title at Florida State, but the Seminoles’ 2017 season is in shambles. Many of the others have similar struggles. It seems like Georgia is doing the best job of copying the formula, and hopefully providing that heir apparent to the Saban throne. If Nick’s going to give up the top spot, it better be to one of his guys — and Georgia seems to have found the best one.

Kentucky

Take care of Florida. The Gators continued their 31-year winning streak over UK this season. That’s not happening to Alabama. In the last three seasons, Saban has played Florida. Total score? Bama 125, Florida 52. Admittedly, recent seasons have suggested that Kentucky’s problems with the Gators are more mental than physical. Which is why a horse-farm owning St. Nick would set the score right with the Gators. Immediately.

Missouri

Play some defense, a’ight? This isn’t intramural flag football. Missouri allows 35.8 points and 453 yards per game. Despite playing FCS Missouri State, UConn and Idaho. Saban’s worse defense of the decade allowed just 18.4 points and 328 yards per game. Put the studs on defense, and watch things change.

South Carolina

Grind it out on the ground. Holy Marcus Lattimore, Carolina hasn’t had a 1,000-yard rusher since 2013, and the Gamecocks don’t look likely to change that this season. They gain 123.5 rushing yards per game on 3.9 per carry. Alabama has more than doubled that pace, with 298.8 yards per game and 6.3 per carry. For crying out loud, Damien Harris, who wasn’t even supposed to be Bama’s top back, averages 87 yards per game by himself.

Tennessee

Champions of life? That corny crap goes in one ear and out the other like crap through a tin horn. Sure, Tennessee has many problems, but a lot of them are cultural problems starting with the man at the head of the program. Can you imagine Saban talking about champions of life? Faking his way through a press conference with a 3-5 team that just lost to Kentucky? Of course you can’t. Because he doesn’t do that. He hates compliments. He’s sure not going to lavish them on a group of losers.

Vanderbilt

Have a better stadium. It’s hard to get excited about much of anything in a dumpy relic of a stadium that seats under 40,000. The two teams next to Vandy on a list of stadium seating capacities? Army and Marshall. If you want to play in the MAC, that’s fine. Alabama is surrounded on that same list by LSU and Texas. Sure, it’s not just an “If you build it, they will come” issue. But if you don’t build it, they sure as heck won’t come.

WEST

Arkansas

Recruit, recruit, recruit. Maybe it’s Bielema, maybe it’s the lack of glamour of Arkansas, but the Razorbacks haven’t had a top 20 class, per Phil Steele’s rankings, in the 2010s. Alabama, on the other hand, has been tops in four of the last seven years. There’s a chicken-and-egg element here, but before you win the Xs and Os, you have to do better signing the Jimmys and Joes.

Auburn

Stop turning the ball over. The Tigers have a dozen turnovers this year, fourth highest in the SEC. And the three teams ahead of them are teams that should be taking offensive risks — Missouri, Arkansas and Ole Miss. Alabama has five, fewest in the SEC. So many times in critical, close games, the team that doesn’t turn the ball over wins.

LSU

Don’t stick with the interim guy. Remember Joe Kines? He was the Alabama coach before Nick Saban. Defensive coach, well-traveled, great froggy voice. Heck of an assistant. Interim coach, not a head coach. Alabama figured that out — and hired Saban. LSU, not so much.

Mississippi

Clean it up. Bama has its own nefarious past — major violations in 1995, 1999 and 2002. Since Saban, it’s been limited to two very minor flare-ups, one with a university textbook policy and another with a minor recruiting infraction. Nick knows the rules. He doesn’t leave the NCAA the opportunity to dismantle a promising program. If only Hugh Freeze and Ole Miss had done the same.

Mississippi State

Pass the football (gasp). Yes, Saban is known for digging into offensive coordinators, disdaining anything too fancy in favor of good old trench butt-kickings. But he knows you’ve got to pass. The Bama passing game in this decade? Ranging from 210-278 yards per game. State is averaging just 173, and will find its remaining schedule tough sledding if it doesn’t throw the ball better.

Texas A&M

Don’t quit on November. Coach Kevin Sumlin’s last four Novembers have yielded a 7-9 record. Worse, many of the wins were irrelevant — as a 47.5-point favorite over UTEP, or a 34.5-point favorite over Louisiana-Monroe, or as a 36-point favorite against Western Carolina, or as a 27-point favorite over Texas-San Antonio. Saban is 15-1 in the same November period, with the one loss coming on the flukish Kick Six. Finishing strong matters, and if Kevin Sumlin doesn’t do it this year, he might be unemployed next year.