The hopes of what Kenny Hill would be doing if he were to embrace his nickname, Kenny Trill. This is a fictional piece about what I wish Trill would do on a week-to-week basis. 

 

With the Aggies playing Rice, from nearby Houston, Kenny Trill decided to catch a ride with the Owls after the game and start really nailing down some celebrity connections. He teams up with Houston Rocket stars Dwight Howard and James Harden and the trio decides to have a skills competition in the Toyota Center. No tickets were sold, but there was certainly a buzz generated by the challenge, and somehow fans gained entry to watch the newfound friends compete.  You may remember the McDonalds commercials with Larry Bird and Michael Jordan. It was sort of like that, except instead of Happy Meals, we’re talking bottles and stacks.

These videos that have made the rounds of incredible shots or throws or pool basketball teamwork dunks, literally don’t belong in the same stratosphere of what was witness that night. Plenty of people had video of the trick shots that ensued, but everyone’s phone was immediately smashed so the legend could only be passed down through the generations by word of mouth, the way legends used to be made.  Trill wowed the crowd by tossing basketballs around football style lighting the place up like a pinball machine. He was putting those balls wherever he wanted to the point a man came down from the stands and started announcing the event “And-1” style, referring to everyone as “my god son”.  That whole bit was a little weird but Trill seemed to feed off of it at one point climbing to the top of the jumbotron, chugging a bottle of champagne and throwing it towards the court- a perfect swish, then of course shattering into thousands of pieces. He then called his shot: off the owners box, across the court, off the courtside seats, off an equipment hamper, tip it over, spilling the towels out and completely covering the shards from the bottle.

No one thought it could be done. It was impossible. Nothing is impossible for Trill. He threw the ball, football style, a more perfect spiral with a basketball has never been thrown. The ball caromed over all of it’s checkpoints, ending up in it’s intended location. On top of a blanket of towels, covering the mess he had just made.

Trill then strapped a rope to a harness he had apparently stashed on the jumbotron and “fast-roped” like he was exiting a hovering helicopter. Mid rope slide, fireworks erupted and the Rockets cheerleaders came sprinting out of the tunnel, surrounding Trill as he landed on the court. Champagne was every where. People were so impressed they were throwing money on the court. Dwight Howard and James Harden stood there, dumbfounded. Once they regained the ability to speak, they announced they were opening a club and call it “The Trill Shop.”

One cheerleader captured the moment on Instagram, but it was taken down after it was found to be in violation of Instagram’s terms and conditions. It was too “awesome.”

If only. If only this wasn’t a fabled life of Kenny Trill.